Dirty Birdie

I decided this year to host Thanksgiving at my house.  I think I was able to pull it off pretty well, or at least there was no complaints.  I have never cooked the turkey before because I never wanted to deal with  'the bag' and the other nastiness found inside the bird.  This year nobody was around to remove 'the bag' and other innards so I had to do so myself...what an experience I had.  I also had not one but two turkeys to prepare.

First off, I hate dealing with raw poultry because for some reason it always grosses me out to touch it.  So I unwrapped the turkeys and noticed a plastic thing around the legs that I wasn't sure if it was supposed to stay.  I ended up deciding that it was supposed to be removed and yanked on it for what seemed like 10 minutes. Then it was time for the dreaded looking down the turkey's butt for removal of nasty objects.  Like I said, it was still frozen and I saw what appeared to be a huge grey... lets just say it looked like part of the male anatomy...aka the neck.

I ran cold water in the 'cavity' to help thaw it so that I could get that thing out of there.  I almost had to physically put my foot on the turkey to get some leverage and pull it out, but I opted to use every muscle in my body to loosen and yank it out of there. I swear to you it took me 30 minutes to do this. Once out, I didn't see the dreaded bag of guts anywhere!!!  I knew it had to be in there somewhere so I turned it around so I could dig in the front of the bird.  Why don't they put the neck in the neck part, and the guts in its butt??  Oh well, it wouldn't make the experience any better I guess.

I finally found it and tossed it and the penis, I mean neck, in the trash immediately!!  I had two turkey's, so it was time for round two.  This one was even more frozen than the first one, but alas I finally managed to get both turkey's ready for the roaster after at least an hour of manhandling the disgusting things.  I don't even eat turkey!!  Whoa is me!

I decided to stay up late so that I could put them in the roaster and let them cook all night.  Would you believe that after all of that I forgot to turn the damn roaster on!!!!  I knew instantly when I woke up and didn't smell turkey something had gone terribly wrong.  I literally stepped out of bed and grabbed the phone book to see if there was anyone who had some already cooked turkey's for sale.  Thankfully there was a place right around the corner who still had 4. We made it just in time to get the last two remaining turkey's!!!!

Other than me putting too much sage in the dressing, and the turkey debacle, it went pretty well.  I will remember to turn the roaster on for Christmas by God!!  I hope someone is around to do the dirty work for me for crying out loud!!

Pass the Pedialyte

My poor little girl got the stinking stomach bug last week.  She loves to share, so I got it this week.  I haven't been sick like that in years.  The first day, literally all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and stare off into space.  I don't remember ever being that tired in my life!!  Not even during my first and third trimester.  By day two, I started noticing that one of the tiles on the bathroom floor resembled the shape of snoopy...I was in there a lot with nothing else to do.  I also made everyone go to Target so that I could attempt to take a nap between bathroom breaks, and because I was in desperate need of some pedialyte.

Once the pedialyte arrived, I drank half the bottle.  It was the clear extra tasty one:)  I was still unable to eat for the entirety of that day.  When I woke up the next morning my face felt like it was on fire.  I decided to take a gander in the mirror and see what the problem was.  To my surprise, my face looked like it had a pretty bad sunburn, or that someone challenged me to a duel by slapping me in the face repeatedly with a steel glove.

I decided then that it was time to go to the doctor and see what the verdict was.  The problem with that is I have no health insurance, so I opted to go to one of those Access Medical places, aka- I spent 65 bucks for worthlessness.  I thought since I got there right as they opened I would be right in and out of there in no time.  I was wrong.  After an hour of waiting (by a lady with a plastic trashcan in her hand) I finally got back to a room.

After waiting in there for 30 minutes I was getting pretty upset.  On the way to the room I noticed a decent looking man who worked there (I assume he is one of the doctors/nurses/whatever).  So for 30 minutes, I got to listen to all of the office women flirting and laughing and making complete asses of themselves at the patients expense.  Now keep in mind that I have my boyfriends sick mother watching my 1 year old in the car during this time because neither could have been left at home.

So after the flirting subsided the nurse practitioner finally came in.  She acted like a complete 'you know what' and told me she wasn't for sure what could have caused the allergic reaction.  She said it could possibly have been the pedialyte, or a reaction from the virus.  So she wrote a prescription for zofran and told me to take some claritin and sent me on my way.  When she left, I took it upon myself to fill out a comment card about how I didn't appreciate having to wait for almost two hours while they got their flirt on.

Finally, the next day I was starting to feel like my old self again!!!  My appetite was coming back (by the way I lost 5 lbs in 3 days yay!! gettin the weight off!!) and I wasn't as nauseated.  That night when I went to bed, I woke up around 10 with the weirdest feeling in my lower lip.  I got up to investigate and it appeared that I was turning into Angelina Jolie...or at least my bottom lip was.  I like to self diagnose myself via the internet, so I immediately searched out allergic reactions.  Needless to say, I found myself up most of the night making sure my breathing wasn't becoming constricted.  My mind goes into hypochondriac mode when I self diagnose.

Luckily it was gone by the next day, and am feeling much better now.  Out of this experience I have learned several things: never drink pedialyte just in case, don't go to Access Medical (and sit by a woman with a plastic trashcan in her hand), getting sick as you get older is not any fun.

Foot With a Side of Foot.

Some people boggle the mind.  You have met one or two I am sure.  I am talking about the characters that just continue to put their foot in their mouths repeatedly.   Don't get me wrong, I have been guilty a time or two in my life, but I try really hard to think before I speak. 

Today I went to Walgreens to pick up a couple of items.  I had my daughter in one arm, and my goods in the other.  I make my way up to the cashier minding my own business.  There was a guy (around 22-25 years old) in front of me.  I heard the cashier say something about him having an unusual combination of items, but I wasn't really paying too much attention.

After she rang him up, they both turned and looked at me.  The cashier laughed, and the guy looked like he wanted to run away.  Once I noticed, I looked up and said, "huh"?  The cashier started laughing and said, "well he is buying a toothbrush and a box of condoms and I told  him that it was better than the alternative and pointed at you since you have a baby".  Wow!!! That poor guys face turned all different shades of red right before my eyes!!

First of all, you know he was hiding the box of condoms all through the store hoping that nobody noticed.  Only to have the cashier make a public announcement about it right in front of everyone in ear shot!!  I felt bad for the poor fellow as he grabbed his bag (with apparently condoms and a toothbrush in it) and did the walk of shame out the door.

As I approached the counter, the cashier repeatedly tried to assure me that she wasn't trying to make a jest with me as the butt.  Okay, whatever just ring up my crap so I can be done already, it is my baby's nap time!!  I think she knew that everyone was feeling awkward at this point, so she was trying to make small talk.  She asked me how old my daughter was....and then said, "It looks like your almost due for your next one, when is your due date"?  WHAT???  DUNDERHEAD!!! 

So I then grabbed my bag of goodies and did my own walk of shame without saying a single word to her.  What I really wanted to say I will keep to myself, but it looks a little bit like this: *@$&-#%!-%^&$#!!!!!!   

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe. -FRANK ZAPPA

You Gotta Fight for Your Right

Well, the party went...fairly well.

It was interesting to say the least.

Like an idiot, I decided to do a three tiered cake.  Keep in mind I have never made a cake for people to actually see in my entire life.  The middle one took FOREVER to cook, so when I checked it for the last time (with a spaghetti noodle because I am never prepared) it broke off in there...who will be the lucky winner??  Only kidding, I ended up finding it once the stinking side of the cake fell off because it stuck to the pan... It was also as dry as a crouton.

I bought sky blue coloring for the icing since that is where the care bears hang out...in the sky.  However, once I mixed the butter shortening, and the butter, the icing was green.  Apparently yellow butter +blue coloring = green icing.  So, it was more like the care bears hanging out in the swamp.  Oh, and I didn't have enough icing for all three cakes so I made a split second decision to stack them, then ice them...aka half of all the cakes (with the exception of the smallest one) were only half iced.  I won't even go into detail about what a disaster it was when I tried to ice them and keep them from being destroyed.  All I have to say is thank GOD my mom used to decorate cakes for a living because I called her the instant things were going awry!!!

I was able to make one large rainbow tissue ball, two little ones, and some mediocre puff things that I came up with to make it look like I spent a lot of time decorating, instead of fiddling with the damn cake for so long.  Then I noticed that I didn't get a happy birthday sign!!! I have to give credit to one of my good gal pals for picking one up for me.  I also noticed that I didn't get enough plates and cups!!!  AAAAAAHHHHH!!

So I make an emergency call to my sister to stop for me.  She just happened to be driving by a party store, yay!!!  Then I got a phone call from my friend saying she was on the way...OH CRAP, ALREADY!!!  I hurried up and grabbed all of the trash off the counter and threw it in the laundry room, made the punch (rainbow sherbert, 7up, and V8 fruit medley), and got the tableware ready!!!

Soon everyone started showing up.  It was kind of awkward because I have never thrown a birthday party before.  I have to admit, I kept asking one of my good friends what I was supposed to do next.  After walking around like someone without a clue, I was told to start the presents.  My daughter didn't get the concept just yet, and continued to play with balloons instead of open them.  She loved all of her toys from all of her great friends.

Next was the ever popular 'happy birthday' song.  I wasn't sure how she was going to react to a crowd of people staring at her singing.  She took it better than expected!! She clapped and laughed the entire time...I have a feeling she will be quite the ham someday.  A social butterfly to say the least.  She had an absolute blast and it made all of the crazy moments I had that day worth it.

A year ago today is when we brought her home from the hospital.  It was a beautiful day.  I was swollen like a water buffalo from head to toe, my blood pressure was extremely high, and I started my journey into postpartum depression.  I have come a long way.  I went for two months struggling to bond with her, to having a bond so strong it can't be broken.  She absolutely is the most amazing person I have ever met and I love her to the very core of my soul.

Hindsight

What the crap was I thinking??  This planning birthday parties is for the birds!!  I decided on a care bear theme since she is going to be one and she can't really make that decision just yet, and it is next to impossible to find anything care bear out there.  Just like always with me, I am a year or two behind on what is 'cool'.  I found the most darling cake that I am going to attempt to make her.  It is adorable in the picture...I am sure it will be a complete disaster after I get done with it though:)

Last time I attempted to bake a cake it was nice and pretty in the oven, and when I went to make sure it was done (with a spaghetti noodle) it completely collapsed right in front of my eyes.  It was kind of interesting to eat a hollow cake...I don't know where the middle went, it was just a crusty outer layer.  So I bought the Betty Crocker confetti mix to go with the whole care bear rainbow thing.  I swear if that damn thing falls I will stuff the thing with loads of icing!

For her birthday we bought her a convertible car seat...that thing was $160!!!  She also has Fred Flintsone feet so I took her to Stride Rite and get her feet measured.  I looked at the 5 pairs they had to choose from at 40 bucks a pop and decided I would take a gander at ebay when I got home.  I want her to have new shoes and I thought I would get a better deal off the internet.  I was wrong, I ended up saving maybe 5 dollars on the two pairs I have gotten her so far.  But, then I paid that much in shipping, so really I saved not a dime.  Ah well...

I have been doing the most bizarre things lately too!  The other day I was watching that show unwrapped where they show you how to make different food items, and they were going to show how to make fruity pebbles.  I got distracted and was not able to watch that part... believe it or not, I was actually really interested.  So when I asked my boyfriend how they made it, I could not physically get the words to come out of my mouth right!!  I NEVER have problems pronouncing words like some people (like the ones who say suposebly!!! pet peeve by the way)!  I kept talking gibberish.  I kept saying poodle froodles or something crazy.  Then when I went to put the stamps on the invitations, I put them on the wrong side!!!  I must be losing my mind!! Stress is a bully I say!!

Please lord don't let my cake do this:

Jury (Doody)

Is it just me, or do the viagra commercials crack everyone up.  Here we have this nice looking older man, with a manly song playing in the background then boom, "do you suffer from erectile dysfunction"?  They like to play that one quite a bit on the History channel.  They time it just right too, as soon as someone is in the room that it is uncomfortable to watch with.  Kind of like a nude scene with your parents in the room.  Always a classic.

So today I served my country by being summoned for jury duty.  I imagined it being a giant waiting room where you mingle with other people until you get called.  Then once I would get called it would be such an awesome experience that I would never forget...  It was literally the most boring day that I ever lived so far.  I got there early of course because I get every where early.  I checked in and looked around these rows and rows of what looked like church pews and found the perfect spot on the far right of the room.  I chose to sit at the very end of one of the pews.  Pretty soon they all fill up and I notice that I am surrounded by men!! Not a woman to chat with anywhere near me!!  What the crap!!

I thought about striking up a conversation with one of the men, but they didn't seem like they were the chatty type.  One guy behind me almost got the fist because he was one of those people who couldn't sit still for more than a minute.  He was either tapping is foot, or playing the air drums...I mean come on man!! So I decided to just sit there and get out the book that I brought.  It was the most boring book I have ever tried to read.  Pretty soon I am sitting there, eyes crossing from sheer boredom, starving because I was too excited to eat breakfast, praying for time to speed up so I could get the hell out of there and go to lunch, or get called to a case to begin my excitement. 

Lunch came and went, and I have to admit it took everything I had to go back into that stinking, boring, no toilet paper in the bathroom room.  I prayed and prayed to be called to a case to no avail!!  I found myself secretly resenting everyone who was getting called.  After the guy beside me got called I seriously thought about kicking up my feet and taking a little nap, if I wasn't afraid someone would find me drooling or snoring I may have done so.

They never did call me.  I sat there from 7:30 to 3:30.  By the time they called my name on the 'we don't need you list' I was barely conscious from the monotony of sheer boredom.  So I handed in my juror badge and my belief that jury duty would be cool.  However, I did get an offer that I refused, one of the other jurors that I didn't even meet in there tried to get me to take a ride with him on his motor scooter...Uh, no thank you!!!

I Remember

 It has been a while since I last wrote I noticed.  What have I been up to??...

 I have found myself trying to re-live my childhood.  I have been doing so through buying tons of needless crap off of ebay.  I am slowly buying toys for my daughter that I used to love to play with as a kid.  So far I have gotten her 2 care bears, 3 hugga bunch dolls, a sprite (from rainbow bright), a fluppy dog, and am bidding on a popples, barbies, and rose petal place dolls.

Really, I guess you could say they are for me.  I am sure she will think they are total junk!!  I didn't want for anything as a child.  My siblings and I got all of the latest and greatest toys.  The good old days of running barefoot in the streets and riding my 10 speed, woo-hoo!! :) Oh, and jumping around on the pogo ball after school. Stirrup pants, shirt clips, scrunchies, high tops, slouch socks, florescent colored clothes, pound puppies, pound purries, lunch boxes with thermos, fraggle rock, dumbos circus, today's special, real smurfs, snorks, sweet secret dolls, blue eyeliner, aqua net, deb gel, electric youth, glow in the dark spoke covers, records, showbiz pizza, crystals pizza, casa bonita, biker shorts, and a million other things that I know I am forgetting.

Back before technology took over and times were simpler.  I can't imagine what things will be like when my daughter is old enough to have memories.  I remember a time, not too long ago that I didn't even know what the 'world wide web' did.  Boy once I figured that one out I was like a kid in a candy store. 

Now I run across abbreviations for phrases like lol, ty, and some I don't even know what they mean like fml???  Anyway, the only thing I can come up with that it means isn't very nice so I will just leave it to wonder.  Things are a lot different than they were when I was growing up.  I wonder if there will even be such things as books, or will there be a latest and greatest ipad that I will have to get for her to start school.

I don't know, personally nothing beats a good 'real' book.  Not some eye straining screen to look at.  Of course, I was one of the dvd player skeptics.  I will never forget arguing that it can't be too much better than the vhs player...well, we all make mistakes right?  Now I am arguing that blu ray can't be better than a dvd player, but I have yet to find that one out. 

Glory Days!

I have been finding myself missing the good ol' days lately.  I don't know, I guess when you grow up and have real responsibility you can't help but have moments of reflection.  Not that I am not happy with where I have ended up by no means.  I have a great life and I am very thankful for it and everyone in it as well.

I remember tanning, taco bell at 2am, bud light, Marlboro reds, sleeping in, Hudson's, Classic Rock, Bricktown Brewery, ramen noodles in a coffee cup, parties, serious talks, tears, smiles, dating, FNB, "you only live once", "we are almost 30" when we were like 22, building a snow penis, dancing, driving around looking for scary houses, looking for houses to rent, the vintage, and lots of quality time with some great friends.

I am so lucky that I had the opportunity to move in with three of my really good girlfriends, and one who should have also lived there.  I remember having backyard debates and I was, of course, the one that everyone made fun of because at first I wouldn't stay up passed 10!!  We would invite other people over and have drinks and cigarettes until waaaay into the morning.

I also got a lot of crap because when we would go out to a club, I was the one who wouldn't get out on the dance floor until I was completely trashed.  Then, and only then I would get out there with my empty beer bottle in one hand, and a cigarette in the other.  Oh, did I mention that I was the most horrible dancer out there...but once you have had a few, who really cares right? 

When we lived there for awhile, we all started going to Blue River which was an absolute blast.  We would rough it too.  We had our tents and campfire where we cooked all of our food.  One of my friends would dig a hole in the ground and put up trash bags on wires so we could have walls...I guess a little luxury never hurt anyone:)  We would hang out all day and just forget that time ever existed.  Of course we would also drink like the fish in the river too;)

We all used to go to Henry Hudson's every Wednesday for years, but that was karaoke night and we eventually tired of the same two singers and switched our days to Thursdays.  We were always having a good time.  The guys would play pool while us women would have some girl talk which was usually about the guys who were playing pool of course...

I remember the day I moved out of that house that we all shared and having this feeling that it was the end of an era.  Everyone got married and had kiddos, and our conversations now involve what kind of deal we can get somewhere, or to use or not to use cloth diapers, but I wouldn't change it for the world.  I have a great group of friends and I treasure every moment we get to spend together.

I guess with everything that has been going on lately, I can't help but think about those carefree days that seem so far away now.  

The Point of No Return!!

Wow!!  I had a mommy moment that I just had to share with you today.  Maybe it will bring a little laughter, maybe it will bring a little disgust, who knows.  So I have two pairs of jeans that I alternate between that fit me right now.  One pair was extremely dirty because I had worn them several times without washing them (yeah, yeah, who doesn't do this??), and the other I had on when my daughter decided to pee on me five seconds before it was time to head off to her 9 month check up.   Well crap!! I didn't want to smell like urine all day!!

I didn't know what to do!!  So since we are staying at my boyfriends parents right now, I decided to go into his moms closet and see if she had anything that might fit.  The first pair I grabbed looked like they would fit me perfectly so I put them on in a hurry and ran out the door.  I noticed that they buttoned pretty high up which I am not used to these days, and kind of bugged me a little.

As the day went on I began thinking to myself how comfortable I found them.  By the end of the day I decided that these are my most favorite, comfortable jeans in the world.  When it was time to take them off I decided to look at the label and see who they were made by so that perhaps I can buy myself some of these fabulous jeans (so that I can give hers back).

Well, when I checked out the label I decided that I was for sure a mom with a capital M because they are made by Gloria Vanderbilt!!!!!  I have always been kind of brand conscience and these are total mom jeans.   They go up high so my muffin top doesn't exist!!  They are missing the pleats, but they are definitely the real deal.

So...comfort, or fashion??  It really is a toss up!!  Two years ago, no questions asked I would have picked fashion.  Now that I have a baby, and some unwanted fat that came with her ( I guess since she isn't a year old I can still blame it on the pregnancy?!:))  I truly can't decide.  So when you see me out and about in my new mom jeans, just don't judge too harshly.

So much for being an adult right?!

Okay, I have a confession, I am kind of a chicken.  I have never liked staying by myself at night.  Let me just remind you that I am in my 30's and should be an adult about these types of things.  So whenever my significant other has to be away for a night what do I do?  I call my mommy and ask her to stay with me and keep me company.

I don't know, I guess I let EVERY noise get to me.  I have always been this way ever since I was a little girl.  Afraid of my own shadow.  Now that we are staying at his parents house it is even worse because it is not my house and I just feel plain weird about it.  So yesterday he went to go and get his mom out of town and found out that she had early doctors appointments the next morning so he needed to go ahead and stay the night....FREAK OUT FEST!!!  So of course, I called my mom who was nice enough to come over and stay the night (after I told him that I was going to attempt to stay alone and be a grown up).

Well, my cover will be blown when he sees the oil stains on the driveway from moms cars slow oil leak.  So what did I do??  I high tailed it to Autozone and got some oil stain remover and with a wish and a prayer I sprayed the hell out of it:)  It says to let it sit for 3 hours and voila' the stain will be removed...we shall see.   Please Lord Please Lord Please Lord!!!

So then I find out that he may have to stay another night.  FREAK OUT FEST, but I am really going to try and face my fears tonight instead of being a baby.  It will probably be a long and scary night for me, and I will probably sleep with ever light on in the house (including the TV), but it is time to persevere.  Knowing me, I will have my daughter and myself packed up by 7pm ready to head off to my parents house:)

I also forgot to pack my own soap before I left and have been using the bar that is here at his parents house.  I think I am allergic to it.  My skin is irritated today and I feel like I have diaper rash:)  Hey, at least I wash right??  Another stupid thing that I did was buy some of that Olay ProX for 45 dollars ( I swear the tube is 1/2 an ounce).   The idea is to rub it everywhere your wrinkles are deep and they will vanish in no time...yea right!  Every place that I put it now has a giant red rash (I should have stuck with just the wrinkles instead of wrinkles and a rash).  Lesson learned.

Oh and the diet?  The diet... Yea, maybe next time I will have the will power to stick with it.  I have been pigging out big time.  I realize that I do that a lot when I am bored.  I have been trying to keep myself occupied by cleaning the cleanest house on the planet.  So when I am done cleaning something that is already clean, I go ahead and enjoy their cable...and eat of course.

Moving on Up

Well, we had to get our house sprayed again for fiddle back spiders.  My heart dropped when we were moving furniture into the middle of the room to expose the baseboards and finding out that my daughters room had the most!!!!!  I don't think I will EVER buy a foreclosed home that has been vacant for a period of time again.  I have a feeling we will always have a problem with them.  They pretty much leave us alone because they are 'reclusive', but I couldn't take a chance on one biting my baby girl. 

So in the meantime we are staying at my boyfriends parents house to avoid the poison.  I have to say although I have been coming here for years, it is weird to be here alone.  His mom is such a clean fanatic that I am afraid she is going to come home from the hospital and freak out when she notices that I am not as good a house keeper as she is...I don't know if anyone is:)  Please lord don't let me ruin her pots and pans!!  She uses cast iron and I really don't know how to take care of them.  I just cleaned it (making sure not to use anything abrasive, and then a thin layer of olive oil.?.?)

Oh, and not to mention this woman can cook up a storm!!  I hope my mediocre cooking will be good enough for her.  I tried to make out a menu with variety in it.  We are used to eating tostadas, pizza and repeat:)  I don't think she would be impressed!!  She is also a side dish queen...I never take the time to make side dishes, except for the occasional frozen corn or green beans.  Like I said, mediocre!!

It is still sad to think that his dad is gone, I look around and see all of his things and can't help but feel so sad about it all.  Why couldn't he have just gotten banged up instead of die??  I got to see pictures of the place that it happened and you wouldn't believe how far that police cruiser pushed their car.  It had to be at least 100 feet!!  It happened when he was yielding, but the car ended up in a prairie off in the distance. 

On a lighter note, his mom will be coming home on Tuesday.  She will be wheelchair bound for 3 months because she can not put any pressure on her hip.  I really feel for her having to come home and face reality.  At least my daughter will be here to hopefully distract her a little bit.  I don't think she has really had the chance to grieve yet.  This woman has helped me so much in the passed years that I am honored that I will get to help her. 

I brought my crochet to keep me occupied and thought that maybe she may want to help me make some frogs for donation.  She is very crafty and it would probably help her exercise that wrist.  She loves to do things for charity so I am sure she will be up for it.  She will probably be able to do 5 in the amount of time it takes me to do 1:)

However, they have cable.  Need I say more??  I have been slacking to say the least.  

Sweetie Peets

I have the best daughter you could imagine.  No kidding, she only cries literally when she is tired or hungry.  She is constantly cracking me up with her adorable personality too.  My favorite moment is her morning bottle feeding.  It is a time where she is still kind of groggy from just waking up and she lets me love on her.  I always put my cheek on the top of her head and hold her hand while she sits on my lap and finishes her bottle.  It is hard for me to describe the love I feel for her.  It is so much different than the love I feel for everyone else in my life.  It is a heart melting love.  The kind that won't fade over time like some loves do, but will remain strong for a lifetime.

Now that I am a mother, stories that I see on the news really scare the crap out of me.  Like that poor Jaycee Dugard girl who was kidnapped and held captive for 18 years!!!  A real living hell.  Or that jewish kid that was taken by a stranger that smothered and dismembered him in Brooklyn!!  Or even the Hamil family who lost their two boys to the tornado this year.  It is too much, it breaks my heart and makes me want to never let my daughter out of my sight for as long as I live.  I guess bringing kids into your life  opens your eyes and adds a whole new level of worry.

I guess all we can hope for is that they grow up safe and make really good decisions along the way.  I hope I can be a good enough role model for her to look up to during her life.  I guess that means that I really need to quit smoking FOR REAL ...(soon;))  and trying to eat a better diet (which I am working on;).  I could be better, but I could be a whole lot worse too.

I thought you might want a little laugh today as you read this 'oh so serious' post.

 
Someone's pampers are showing:)


Okay fine, I guess I will post a crochet pic;) I admit that my daughters afghan was getting so boring that I decided to put it up for awhile and start on the one for my sister.  I finally asked  her what her favorite color was and it is yellow.  Isn't that crazy?  I just now learned what my own sisters favorite color was!!  Anyway, here is a sneak peek:

It really is much prettier in real life.  In fact, I think it is going to turn out to be a beauty...  I just hope she doesn't look at my blog... 

Get Your Read On!

Before I became a mother and had lots of spare time, I loved to fill it with a great book.  I guess I will go ahead and embarrass myself and let you also know that I am obsessed with Tudor England.  I would be a happy lady if I could be a fly on the wall in King Henry VIII's court for just a day.  Scandalous!!  I read mostly biographical fiction which are mostly true, but with a little bit of imagination....okay okay okay, so it is usually a cheesy love affair, so what!!??

My obsession came about three years ago when I found a book in a local thrift store.  It is The Virgin's Lover by Philippa Gregory and  I bought it because it had a green sticker which meant it was half off that day.  On the back I noticed that the author was the same person who wrote The Other Boleyn Girl which I thought was a pretty good movie.   One day I was looking for something to do and I remembered that book and decided to give it a read.  I was hooked from the first page on and could not put it down.


It is a look into the life of Queen Elizabeth I and her love affair with a man of no royal blood, Robert Dudley.  Such a great book and highly recommended if you are looking to see how inadequate the romance in your life really is.

Another great book that I ran across in my local library is called The Secret Wife of King George IV by Diane Haeger.


Again, another tawdry love affair.  This one is between Maria Fitzherbert, a young beautiful widow , and King George IV.  This book is incredible!!!  I guess the title pretty much says it all now that I think about it...  still a must read for those who are hopeless romantics like myself:)

Okay, on to the one I am most obsessed with...King Henry VIII!!  A man who broke from the Catholic church so that he could divorce his first wife (who by the way was married to his older brother first) to marry a supposed witch that he had beheaded so that he could marry his third wife who was pure and sweet but died in childbirth.  So then he marries a woman who he thought was soooo ugly that he compared her to a mule.  He dumped her to marry a girl who was like 15 and quite a bed hopper who was having a secret love affair with his servant which resulted in both of them being beheaded.  Finally,  he married his last wife who really just turned out to be a companion because he was so sick and delusional.  He almost had her beheaded too!!!  Fortunately for her he died before the orders were sent out.  Give it up for HRH:

I have to mention one more book that I absolutely love!!  It goes back waaaay farther than the Tudors all the way to the House of Plantagenet.  This one is long and incredible about Joan of Kent (who had royal blood through her grandfather who was king at one time) and the Prince Edward.  Again, scandal scandal scandal.

I actually love to read about all kinds of things.  Although I love reading about the royals of old, I also love a wide range of different books.  One of my favorite authors is Jane Austen.  I can't think of one book that I don't absolutely love but if I had to pick my absolute favorite I would have to say Pride and Prejudice is my most favorite.  The Bennett family reminds me of my own, dysfunction at it's finest.  I love all of the characters just as I love every member of my family.  Elizabeth Bennett is one tough cookie and Mr. Darcy is full of snobbery which ends up being really shy.

 

While we are on the subject of Jane Austen books, I have to add another favorite of mine.  Mansfield Park.  I wish I were more like good ol' Fannie who is sweet and caring.  She is in love with her confused cousin which finally comes around at the end.  Hey, as gross as that is now a day, it was very common back in the day to get with your cousin...YUCK!!

Another of my favorite old authors is Charles Dickens.  My most favorite book by him is Bleak House, "you brimstone beast" - Just a little quote from the colorful Mr. Tulkinghorn.  The story is actually a long and drawn out court case for Richard and Ada, but you end up being intrigued by all of the crazy characters that this one has:)

I can't talk about Charles Dickens without telling you about one more of my favorites by him which happens to be Little Dorrit.  Little Dorrit is actually a young lady who is the only one in her family that has a good head on her shoulders.  Her brother is a drunkard, her dad starts out living in a tax prison dirt poor.  By the end the web unravels a really good shocker. 

Okay, one more old one which is actually newly written...okay I don't really know how to tell you about this one I guess.  It is a diary that was found from a woman named Martha Ballard who lived during the late 18th early 19th century who worked as a midwife.  I found all of my emotions when I read this one.  It goes through her daily life of being a woman, cook, house maid, midwife, and everything else you can imagine.  She records every birth and death of the babies that she helped bring into this world.  She writes down fights that she had with her husband who was a surveyor and was barely at home at all.  I don't want to spoil it in case you are interested in it but she writes about not feeling too well towards the end and then there is no more writing...so sad:'(

I know you are bored by now so I will finish up with a must read.  It is a memoir of a lady named Jeanette which absolutely will amaze you.  She starts out flying by the seat of her pants growing up, to a self made woman who I so admire.  Her family are basically drifters and they have several kids that they just neglect their entire lives.  The float from place to place, living in rundown shacks and what not.  It really is a fantastic book!!

Okay, I am pretty sure nobody made it to the end of this post, but it was good to put all of my favorites down in one sitting anyway.  If you did make it to the end, I hope that you look into these books because they are all incredible.  Even if you are not a big history nerd like me, I think you will really enjoy each of these books.  So get your read on and feel free to share your favorites with someone special:)